Archive for December, 2009


Tiger…Tiger. Burnout? Quite.

Allow me to add my 2 cents to the Scrooge McDuck pile of opinions on the matter of Mr. Eldrick Tiger Woods.

People are talking a lot about Tiger Woods these days, and some of my friends like to mention how he is half Thai.  Thai people are not that surprised that he had lots of “gig” or “dek,” terms which are not as romantic as mistress but translate more as playthings (or “F buddies” if you want to be crude about it).

Thai people may be more understanding, but not sympathetic, because he has never seemed to embrace his Thai heritage;  I doubt he can even speak Thai much more than your average sexpat.  But it is a little astounding how he thought he could get away with it.  In a way he’s like the Bernie Madoff of quivering dicks.

But if he can keep winning tournaments, then all will be forgiven.  Because there is nothing that people like better than a winner, even if he is an unfaithful prick.   Just look at Michael Jordan for an example.

My favorite Tiger jokes regarding the whole incident?  Here are my Top 5.

5.  Tiger hit a fire hydrant and a tree because he couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

4. From SNL: “Last Friday, Tiger Woods hit a tree and a bunch of ladies fell out.”

3. Nike (“Just do it.”) and Gatorade (“Is it in you?”) are sticking with Tiger because he’s just following orders.

2. What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

1. You are supposed go get a hole in one, not one in eighteen holes!

Honorable Mention: Tiger’s Answering Machine Message Slow Jam