07
Dec
10

I got the BlackBerry Broadcast Blues

This is a message I have received repeatedly on BlackBerry Messenger over the past few days:

“‎​This is the real broadcast from Blackberry© All rights reserved.
Broadcast this message to every single contact on your BBM© to reset your display picture, sorry for any inconvenience.
‎​This message is to inform all of our users, that our servers have recently been really full, so we are asking for your help to fix this problem. We need our active users to re-send this message to everyone on your contact list in order to confirm our active users that use BlackBerry Messenger, if you do not send this message to all your BlackBerry Messenger contacts then your account will remain inactive with the consequence of losing all your contacts
Symbol will automatic update in your  ,when you broadcast this message. Your blackberry will be updated within 24 hours it will have a new lay out and a new color for chat.
‎​Dear Blackberry users, We are going to do a update for bbm from 11pm till 5am this to day. You if you don’t send this to all your contacts your update will be cancelled and you would not be alowed to chat with your contacts as you have the old version”

I find it very disappointing that people are still falling for this sort of chain mail douchebaggery. I understand it’s a lot of “better safe than sorry” but c’mon, these assholes misspelled “allowed.” It’s not just annoying, it clogs bandwidth better served watching stupid people fall on YouTube.

If there is a hell, I like to imagine people that repeatedly forward these types of messages (along with earlier incarnations in emails, MSN chats, and good old fashioned letters) are forever strapped naked to a rack, being force fed all manner of garbage, like a goose being fattened for its precious liver, with all their excrements running down a trough into the mouths of the people who started writing them in the first place.

But if you are still not convinced, that’s fine. Please forward this post, because if you do, I will give you $100 for every new reader you send my way. It’s no joke. Me and Steve Jobs have been beta testing this system to track people through forwarded emails and he’s funding it himself. You can then use your winnings to buy as much foie gras as your heart desires.

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